Life on the Road is not always
Peaches and Cream
Travel as I get older has lost much of its
The amenities offered by hotels anymore do not
help lighten the load.
There is one thing I can generally look forward to when waking up in
another hotel in another state on another
morning and that is a cup or two of in-room coffee.
It is usually not that great, so I bring along a couple coffee filters
and some coffee from home.
Now even that has been reduced to a cheap parody of the original
No, I am not kidding. This is what a cup of coffee has been
According to the directions, fill up the coffee cup with cold water and
put in the coffee maker.
Slide the little tray with tiny pack of coffee into the top and press
the gray switch.
I stuck in both bags to try to get a stronger cup of coffee.
This is how much coffee I actually got out of the machine.
How incredibly appetizing.
Oh, and can I mention really stupid engineering....
What kind of idiot in their right mind would put a towel rack directly
over a toilet?
Turns out in my vast experience with hotels, there are quite a few
idiots out there.
I mentioned this to the front desk once, and you could see the
light bulb go off in
the person's eyes, where he told me that would sure explain the
bills during summer when families are vacationing.
After starting the day
with an uplifting dose of caffeine, I travel to the job site.
The drive is uneventful.
However, once I get a little closer to the office
I see what appears to be sentinels sitting atop power poles.
They spread their wings
a way which looks like some sort of bizarre greeting - or
Boy, this is shaping up to be a fun visit.
Where, exactly is the office I am supposed to be working out of?
Why it is about 50 yards past a ditch which is entirely fenced
Why is the ditch fenced in?
The local wildlife has a propensity for eating visitors. This
is just getting better and better.
I am introduced to what is to be my home away from home for a few days.
Out of curiosity I measure the space.
A standard jail cell has more square footage.
Comfortable chair, though.
I ask around lunch time what one does for lunch. My host
produces a couple brown bags from one of the
local fast food joints. We eat in an area which is totally
in with chicken wire.
Why is it screened in with chicken wire?
My host hems and haws and says, 'Nothing to worry about......... it
won't be a problem today.'
I decide not to press the question.
Lunch wasn't that bad. I picked up the trash and tossed it
into a nearby can.
As I did so, I could have sworn the can hissed. I cautiously
and was greeted by the biggest fricking rat I had ever seen.
Huge fricking rats, man eaters, winged apparitions, jail
cells to work out of and the worlds crappiest coffee.....
This is a wake-up call.
Either someone or some thing is sending me a message,
or I am spending entirely too much time listening to "Coast to